When the sun came up this morning, I was awake to see it… not because I’m an early riser, but because I had an 8am shift at work and still had lunches to make and a baby to take to her nannies before making it there. Some handle being a single parent with such grace, I however, no matter the quotes I read on pinterest am not that woman. I'll reunite with a curling iron in 15 years... Hello, ponytail and reapplication to yesterdays makeup.
It didn’t matter how exhausted I was, the morning continued on as usual undeterred by my lack of sleep. So, I did my best to keep up with it and surprisingly made it to work only about 15 mins late, record to the time before. And life went on.
I did my very best to keep everyone reasonably happy while trying to train new employees and manage the stress of broken down analyzers. I even left my house reasonably tidy and packed a somewhat healthy lunch, the day was running rather smoothly I was mind-5'ing myself… until evening… well, until about 3 o’clock.
The winds had picked up in the state of Washington and schools, business, and small clinics were closing early for the day. Before I had the chance to celebrate an early end to my work day, mother nature decided to take out the power-lines and boom, chaos commenced. A long story short, I sent everyone home and tackled the tasks set in place for "State of Emergency." My ears ringing from 3 hours of alarms, fighting back hurricane winds just to stand on my feet outside, no traffic lights and a city in pitch black. Fabulous.
So with one small child, a bag of McDonald's, and heat from the day still radiating the basement of my house, we picnicked in the dark and talked about our day. Mind you, she is two, so there was a lot of squeals, tickles and dancing--the nae nae if you must know. We used what battery was left on the laptop to watch "Frozen" and her sweet self drifted to sleep without a care. She adores the world and she adores me as her mother, no matter the storm; no matter the day.
As I laid beside my rosy cheeked angel, I got on the internet to catch up on the news. 3-5 days no power. Well, slight panic set in... No power, no hot water, no lights, no heat, nothing...just me and mine...Ha, cuz being a single parent wasn't enough of a challenge.
Morning came. House was now cold. Still no power. No shower. No food. Fridge and freezer soon to thaw with all the groceries just purchased the day before, of freakin course. As I lay there staring at my sleeping beauty I decided, for her, the day was going to be no different. We would smile, laugh, and play. I chose to be. I made myself be. I was damn well going to be happy for her sake, I had a little more left to give. I could do it. Now when we left the house I had my phone wedged between my chin and my chest, bags under my arm held there close to my body, my baby in the other cuz heaven forbid this one time she walk herself, and my foot became useful in opening and closing doors. I'm sure we looked like quite the sideshow to those watching. But friends, I did it...we did it. Evening rolled around like it always does and my number one fan fell asleep with that same sparkle that lights my life. Mother success.
I got up as it was now my turn to get ready for bed, but first let me light a fire so we stay warm, let me clean up the messy house with all my attempts to keep her busy without power, let me take the dog out (no longer can I just put him outside as a large tree took out my back fence) and then maybe, maybe I'll get to bed before 1am just to wake up every hour to put another log on. Looking across the street to those with power made me angry. I look exhausted and unshowered, I forgot to put shoes on my baby with all the extras I need now remember, we are stumbling store to store to find ice throughout the day cuz everywhere is sold out, while your sittin over there with your Christmas tree glowing. Ummm, douche bag!!! What would Jesus do, Cortney, WWJD!!!
Next morning quite like the last, just colder, still all my prayers for power unanswered. I made more of an effort to rush our morning routine so there was less time in the cold house. I was frantic. The nearly-tears, doing so much but getting nothing done, if you so look at me cross-eyed it was as if I just lost the grounders game on the playground in grade 5, yes... that was the me coming to you live that Thursday morning. That was, until...I saw him. He didn’t offer any advice or any commentary. He just walked up to my door handed me a container and said, “Pancakes for you and baby.”
I told my child to look the nice man in the eye and tell him thank you, and then I made sure to the do the same.
But the truth is, I wanted to cry, but not for the same reason as 5 minutes ago, but because kindness isn’t as common as it used to be.
There have been plenty of times when I have been out with my child, and desperate for two extra hands. When I have been in line at the grocery store checkout with a screaming baby and a cart full of items knowing that people see me, wondering if they really… see me or if they are judging the person they think they see…"It’s her fault for having a kid so young.” "Wonder where the babies dad is?" “Why couldn’t she come without her kid?” “Who brings their kid out on a cold day without shoes, is her hair even brushed?” “She doesn’t look like she can manage any part of her life. I bet she’s always this much of a disaster.” ....thinking if only someone could help me and holding back my own tears.
This guy could have kept going about his morning. He could have ignored the fact that his neighbor had no power with a small child and no one would of batted an eye.
But he didn’t.
He just smiled, and took the extra 15 minutes to cook a extra couple pancakes to bring over to 25 year old who desperately needed a reminder of love and grace.
We still have no power, but the feeling around my house isn't near as cold. I teach my child kindness by demonstrating it. I live it out. But it is so much more than that. Simply taking the time to embrace the kindness around us. Letting grace lead our day. My nug and I have been blessed with friends providing us food, shelter, showers and welcoming us into their routines to stay warm and comfortable. I'm making a point to show my daughter the kind acts done to her in her little life in hopes she will see the light in a dark place. Somewhere that I am weak, her and I can notice and grow together. “There. That is what we should do. That is the type of person we want to be. That is what matters in this world. Baby, that is what kindness in action looks like.” I was so caught up in how bad my situation sucked, I didn't see the blessings that were right in front of me. So in a season of thankfulness… in a world that seems to grow darker by the day, quite literally (haha)… I just wanted to stop and shine light on one simple moment. Today, I want to say thank you to a neighbor for making the choice and for giving me another chance to teach my child that there is always kindness… if we just take the time to notice the grace in all our unaswered prayers.
