Beyond the Bunnies

Grace isn't something we deserve. It comes from love. And God wraps the world in second chances and mercy. Where would I be without forgiveness? Who would carry the burdens of my heart? Where would I go after I die and would I be alone? I would be a mass train wreck if I had to take on this world alone. I am nowhere near perfect and I have burned in the flames of my own inferno, yet somehow always find my way out a better person. If God expected me to be perfect he would be continuously disappointed, and if I lived my life expecting that God expected me to be perfect, I would live my life continuously thinking I am a failure. I wholeheartedly believe in a higher power and grace in all its forms. I have been far too blessed in my life to plead ignorance. I witness miracles; for a man so forgiving, so loving, so pure, so strong, to find happiness, destiny, and enduring love in me. My bashert. My husband. My miracle. For a spirit with so much sparkle, with such a thin veil, being the closest thing to an angel that I will ever touch, to choose me as her momma. My world. My miracle. My blessing. My grace.

God is life; his son, our redeemer. For me, they live! 

Happy Easter! 

*Come what may and love it!*

Don't Blink

Life goes by so dang fast I sometimes neglect to realize it. A single blink and my baby is sixteen years old wanting to go on a date. Okay time, slow down, I would like to enjoy my snugly little girl as she is only ever this age once! Oh, the roller-coaster of being a mom and a wife. When I hit my pillow at night so exhausted from the days ventures you would think I would be singing sweet "zzzzzz's" within minutes, however so not the case. I constantly replay the day’s events in my head; wondering, was I good mother today? Am I raising my daughter to be a good person, human-beings have a tremendous capacity for cruelty, am I setting an example of goodness? When my baby girl struggles what will give her hope? What will stave off her despair despite the hurt she has felt? I've seen and felt hopeless at times. She's 7 months old and through the greatest 7 months of my life I have experienced so many different emotions that I had up to this never felt before. So exhausted from long work weeks, mixed with a teething baby, tied in with the wife role and responsibilities sometimes takes a toll and I just cry to cry. I have become such a baby myself. Through it all, the time- minutes these days- that I get snuggles, or the times she wraps her soft little hands around my fingers, or simply the times I take to just stare at my creation while she sleeps so peacefully, all combined melt my heart. It is those tender moments when the universe stops in silence and my worries and contention are over rained with peace and love. That little girl has no idea that she is my safe place, my everything, my saving grace. She is the example of goodness and purity in my life. She is my hope and my reason. Understanding a mother's love cannot be stamped with any combination of words. She is so perfect. I am her momma and right now I am perfect in her eyes, but I will make mistakes in my life and in raising her. I pray not only for forgiveness by God but for forgiveness by my daughter. Above all my learnings in being a new mother the experience is to short so don't borrow trouble, don't worry about things that are not under your control, be kind to one another, always smile, and treasure the small things for those are the mercies in my life. *Come what may and love it!*

Disney Sminsey...

Being that I have a baby I now have the excuse to watch Disney movies on repeat without hypercritical grown-ups thinking I am an adult stuck in my childhood, you know the way I see my husband sometimes. Ha! At our house we have a select few that are favorites, at least once a week watch worthy, and sometimes when the old just isn't cutting it we venture into a random pick hoping not for disappointment. Well Disney, you done failed me! Before I lead you through the furry of my thoughts, which I'm sure will end in a bloggers furor; allow me to say how very opinionated I am. For the most part I hold my tongue unless appropriate and unleash the beast aka my thoughts to my husband at a later time, but being how this is MY blog I do what I want, so boom! The happiest place on earth, Disneyland! Since I am such a sucker for romance and find myself hopelessly in love with love you wouldn't be shooting in the dark to say I love Disney princesses. I also love to travel and see new things and meet new people. The wonders of the world are a mystery I wish to unravel in my lifetime. Disney really nailed it in my books making movies on princesses based in all cultures. A magic carpet ride, if you will, taking you to a whole new world (see what I did there, ha). Places I have never been yet at a young age could understand the magnificence through a movie. Mulan, a favorite, based on the Chinese legend of Hua Mulan. Aladdin an Arab folktale, Little Mermaid a Danish fairytale, Pocahontas based on a real historic character the legend that surrounds the Native American woman, Sleeping Beauty & Beauty and the Beast, French fairytales, Snow White & Tangled, German fairytales, and Cinderella a European folk tale. You get my point by now I'm sure. You will see where my frustration now is with the new movie, "The Princess and the Frog" which is based off of the Brothers Grimm, "The Frog Prince." In the case that my underlying point eludes you, the princess in this GERMAN based fairytale is CAUCASIAN! Now that I have pointed out the obvious which somehow soared over the heads of Disney's production crew, my frustration lies here: why take a white man’s tale and slam a black face on it? At this point you may think I am a racist SOB, when in fact, it is quite the opposite. Why out of all the glorious acts in the African culture they are to be marveled in a movie, Caucasian movie, about kissing a frog? There is no triumph in that nor is there any such tale regarding the history of Black folk in this movie. Disappointment to say the least! There was so much controversy over not having a "Black" princess... well, problem solved. Victory, but not really! Furthermore what really fizzed my can was the role of the princess. She was a poor black girl whom worked for rich white people. How cliché! There is such a label on people today and so many play off of it. Poor me, poor me, poor me. NO! You want better, you make better, period! If your formula burns down the kitchen you better start rewriting it. Everyone is a prince/princess you just have to find the crown that fits. Start from the bottom. Make it to the top. Now that's Victory! Paint with all the colors of the wind. Now those are words to live by. Gee, Pocahawtness, that girl has it all figured out! *Come what may and loooove it! :D*