Vacation at Home Depot.

This year my adorably romantic hubby changed Valentine’s Day into a week of Love titled, “7 days of Valentine’s.” The week was full of little gifts of love, letters, flowers, shopping, a sushi class and dine, and breakfast in bed. He melts my heart.  

Let me take you back a day, Saturday night after a 13 hour shift at work, I came home to meet my husband in the kitchen. We talked and laughed like we always do as we put down on a tub of ice cream and a bag of chocolate chips. The whole thing, gone! My two favorites. He knew I would be tired after a long day of work so he kept the night simple and gave me my 6^th gift. It was a homemade coupon book. Fancy scissor cuts, two rings at the top holding it together, the man put his heart in it and I couldn't have been happier with the masterpiece. His coupons were not those of similar coupon books you find in the store or online, but ones he had thought out carefully, ones that he knew suited me specifically, his wife. I went from laughing hysterically at his detailed sexual coupons, to, my eyes burning with tears of love. This man knows me.

Coupon number 6 read, Vacation at Home Depot. These simple words made my excitement hardly containable. This vacation is when the house is spotless and everyone has full tummies, he bundles up the little love of my life and the two of them head to Home Depot. It’s fabulous. Everything on the lower shelves within the monsters reach are too heavy to pick up, so there is no disaster in the isles for him to constantly be cleaning up, and they are free to wander. What guy doesn't love a good trip to home depot, and what woman doesn't love time to herself to blare her music, dance around in her underwear, stare at the ceiling in peace and quite, drink milk from a wine glass, have a bubble bath, or brush the dirt off that romance novel started 6 months ago??

Those of you moms with children, children who demand every second of your time and of your heart, you already know that “mom breaks” are few and far between. Amiright??? Even during nap time it’s catch up on everything the morning made. If you claim you have time to catch up on the tabloids all while your house smells of incense in a remarkable state of cleanliness while your babies rest peacefully on down feathers, you’s a liar my friend… or a Kardashian. That’s not real life, but what I can tell you is this. Enjoy the stage where your children are, play with them, make memories and messes. Use the time they are asleep to watch them peacefully because they won’t always be little like that. Use the remainder of the time to clean up the mess their little hands made and do so happily with little giggles knowing very well when they wake it’ll start all over again. I can promise 10 years down the road when they are reflecting back on their childhood they are going to remember the forts in the living room and the mud pies made in the garden. They will see you, their mom, and they will know true love as I have.   

So, to the mom who would love a tropical getaway to experience that time to herself, but will settle for a vacation at home depot, I sooooo get it. It’s okay to need a break. We run around all day every day at someone else’s beckon, lucky if we find matching socks to wear, all because we decided to embrace the title of being a mom. And while we love spending time with and taking care of our kids, everyone benefits when momma takes some time for herself every now and then, even if it is just a night at home by yourself singing Celine Dion with that wine glass of milk, make it chocolate milk, I won’t tell if you don’t. 

Falling in Love...

Nearly 5 years ago I said, "yes" to the most adorable man in an airplane for two high above the rest of the world. I have always been a sucker for romance. The holding hands, the sweaty palms, the nervous kisses, the pins and needles from cuddling, the flowers, the dates, you name it... I love it all. My love for love all started at a young age when I decided my favorite kind of movie or book was ones that end in two people falling madly in love despite the world against them. I was a goner from then on. I craved the sickly sweet love, wrapped in rose petals of more love, dusted with all the magical moments of love that last forever. Every day together being just another day in paradise.

My friend, the unfortunate thing about love is... love is not like this at all. Unrealistic expectations. Stemming from watching, "Gone with the Wind" or Ryan Gosling in a boat surrounded by swans. Fake worlds, fake scenarios, airbrushed and edited magazines, or some authors version that sweeps your mind out of this world; this realistic, hard, challenging, world. Where in fact men cant read your mind, fights rarely end in a sexy, rosy cheeked, swollen lip, romp to the bedroom or making love by the fire while it is pouring rain. We crave literally something that does not last forever.

I met my husband through a mutual friend in a university dorm room. It was that simple. We were not high school sweet-hearts and I definitely was not in a beautiful dress where I lost my shoe at midnight. No!

Looking back, I remember thinking he was adorable. He was subtle and quiet with his cute comments, and I was outgoing enough for the both of us. To race forward through events of that first year I giggle now as he made quite an effort back then to match my enthusiasm, how my heart raced being around him, and how I landed smack dab, main character, of this romantic love story. Exactly where I wanted to be. Falling in love with him was biblical. My mind was trapped in a sea of rose petals, white doves, and carriages for two. We were that madly in love couple that ended in a beautiful wedding despite the world.

From the moment after, "I-do's" it was a race down hill. I'm not talking about a few steps down either... I'm talking about racing down a snow covered hill on your sled, kinda downhill. I can still remember how worried I was when I started to notice that I didn't get the same feelings from my husband as when we first met. I began to crave and search for those feelings again. I read books and articles for ways to fall back in love and I came up short. Every.Single.Time!

No movie, fairy tale, or novel ever truly showed me that loving my husband forever had very little to do with how I felt when I fell in love with him. None of them ever had me believe I would lose those feeling that I once felt, that the boat rides and swans would disappear and be only a memory. I knew exactly what falling in love felt like, remember I was the main character in that love story. What I didn't know was, what it felt like to walk hand-in-hand in love forever.

In almost 5 years of ups and downs I can finally tell you this. I know what walking in love feels like. It feels like a choice that we have to make every single day. It is a night off of dishes because the other beat you to it. It's a casual dinner at home that rarely is lit by candles. It's a chocolate bar at the grocery store because it's his favorite. It's letting him pick the movie when you want to watch yours. It's simple being together and sometimes not even saying a word. It's takes effort, endurance, and lots of compromise. It takes being able to forgive past offenses and future hurts. It's choosing grace over and over again. It's supporting and rediscovering each other. It's selfless and patient. It's safe.

I was so afraid that I didn't love my husband as much as I did when we were dating, until I realized this, love isn't measured by those kind of feelings. Love is being committed to how far you will go together. I love my husband more today than I ever have. We have walked miles hand in hand that can testify of our love; each step apart of our story.

Falling in love is the easy part and it's just that... "a part" of love. Walking in love is what brings the greatest joy. To those of you who have been married longer than you have been single and to those of you who are taking your last steps you will ever take together, I'm honored by your love and by the way you CHOSE to write your love story.