Don't Blink

Life goes by so dang fast I sometimes neglect to realize it. A single blink and my baby is sixteen years old wanting to go on a date. Okay time, slow down, I would like to enjoy my snugly little girl as she is only ever this age once! Oh, the roller-coaster of being a mom and a wife. When I hit my pillow at night so exhausted from the days ventures you would think I would be singing sweet "zzzzzz's" within minutes, however so not the case. I constantly replay the day’s events in my head; wondering, was I good mother today? Am I raising my daughter to be a good person, human-beings have a tremendous capacity for cruelty, am I setting an example of goodness? When my baby girl struggles what will give her hope? What will stave off her despair despite the hurt she has felt? I've seen and felt hopeless at times. She's 7 months old and through the greatest 7 months of my life I have experienced so many different emotions that I had up to this never felt before. So exhausted from long work weeks, mixed with a teething baby, tied in with the wife role and responsibilities sometimes takes a toll and I just cry to cry. I have become such a baby myself. Through it all, the time- minutes these days- that I get snuggles, or the times she wraps her soft little hands around my fingers, or simply the times I take to just stare at my creation while she sleeps so peacefully, all combined melt my heart. It is those tender moments when the universe stops in silence and my worries and contention are over rained with peace and love. That little girl has no idea that she is my safe place, my everything, my saving grace. She is the example of goodness and purity in my life. She is my hope and my reason. Understanding a mother's love cannot be stamped with any combination of words. She is so perfect. I am her momma and right now I am perfect in her eyes, but I will make mistakes in my life and in raising her. I pray not only for forgiveness by God but for forgiveness by my daughter. Above all my learnings in being a new mother the experience is to short so don't borrow trouble, don't worry about things that are not under your control, be kind to one another, always smile, and treasure the small things for those are the mercies in my life. *Come what may and love it!*